Last week we talked about anxiety. I offered a few thoughts from off the top of my head, and I have been seeking the counsel of wise friends to reflect on what else I might offer.
First, a review with a bit of fleshing out. Prompted by your thoughts, I suggested three strategies for addressing anxiety:
1. Have a system for parking the to-dos that pop up over the course of the day. For example, keep a list of emails that need responding to, then take 20 minutes to get through as many of them as you can. Schedule a regular date with yourself to review your tasks and plan your week (Sunday night is often a good time for this). End each work day by reviewing what you have done and not done, then making a plan for tomorrow, so when you get to your desk, the agenda is already set. Etc.
2. Shift your perspective. Do something that takes you out of work-head, that shakes up the overwhelm, that reminds you that there are other things that are important too. For me, this is often work in the garden. It could also be a run, a bedtime story, a call with an old friend, ten minutes spent arranging flowers in a vase or organising a shoe cupboard. I am not saying that the worries will evaporate; I am suggesting that they may feel less urgent for a while.
3. Allow the anxiety. We live in a very anxious moment in a very anxious time. There is a lot to worry about. Anxiety is a normal and healthy response to our current conditions. Anxiety is not a problem in and of itself — it is an unpleasant emotion that belongs, just like any emotion belongs, as part of our human experience. What I find is: if I allow myself to feel the worry, fear, concern, grief, overwhelm — if I allow myself to be not-okay when I am not-okay — then I am also learning how to allow the waves of it to rise and fall. I identify with it less, because I know the anxiety is not me.
What I’d like to add:
4. Care for the anxiety. This goes a step further than allowing. It is allowing with love, care, compassion. You might imagine cradling your anxiety like a baby in your arms. Really, pause and try this for a moment. Notice what happens to your shoulders, your heart, your breathing. Some people find RAIN meditation a really helpful practice to support this approach.
5. Do less. Anxiety, like anger, often bears a message. Often the message is: you are trying to do too much. At this moment in time, what you think is reasonable is turning out not to be reasonable. You are going to have to put something down. This may involve disappointing someone. One strategy I use is this: I write each of my responsibilities on individual slips of paper. Then I put them in order. As I do this, I question and challenge my habitual ordering of these things. Where things land can surprise me, and the new structure offers a road map for managing my commitments moving ahead.